More Randomness

Have been a bad blogger.

So my days are really kinda split up, crossing in the morning and afternoon and noon duty at Logan' s school. Kinda limits what I can do but I like seeing the kids.
Logan has started spelling tests this last month and is doing fairly well. He has some test anxiety, think he gets it from me. I was always that way in school.
I have been pretty tired lately , think it might be the cold weather.
Trying to get into the Christmas spirit. I have been listening to Christmas music since Thanksgiving. Need to get the decorations out. I love this time of year.
Giving is an awesome feeling, can't wait until Christmas morning.
I guess that's all for now, oh except that I want to say how excited I am for my friend "B" . They are getting their things ready to adopt and infant! She is such a good and loving mother, I know that the child they receive will be loved and cherished, taken care of and taught.
What a blessing.

Radomnessesss

It has been a long time since i posted anything, I have been a bad blogger again.

This post is exactly as it says, Random. Venting, thinking, praising and whatever else comes up.

I have found that I am very content. In life, in love just everything, yes, sometimes life gives me lemons and I don't always make lemonade..But I also realize that life is never perfect and that I must accept the bumps as well as i accept the smooth road. My dad used to honk his horn whenever he went over a speed bump, they just plain piss him off. For some reason I think we need these speed bumps to remind us to slow down in our lives. Not to take it all to seriously, to stop and smell the roses, or daisys or basil..you know just slow down and chill , look at life differently for a few seconds. I am not saying that i have nothing negative going on. I just choose to think about it differently. Maybe this is because once in my life it was so very opposite. Death at one point was calling me over and over. Maybe I learned something back then, with those counselers...maybe I learned to love myself..and that it is true, once you love who you are, things are different. It took years. I can really say though, I love me. I love the life I have, with its smooth roads and speed bumps and gutters too.

Now..how much and how many times can I say I love my little boy. Yeah he is six, sometimes a complete brat, swears on the way to VBS, has this thing about calling people a dork( by the way did you know a dork is a dolphin penis?) but He is my miracle! I cant imagine a mother letting something happen to her child, participating in the murder of her child. It boggles my brain. It makes me angry. It makes me ask questions i don't want the answers to. I love you Logan. I will never let anything happen to you. EVER.

School is about to start. supplies have been bought, clothes and shoes ( with the help of grammie) and Logan is ready! He is more of a clothes horse than I EVER WAS, of course, back then we did not have a mall. Dang, I am OLD.

Do you ever find yourself smiling for no reason? How about frowning for no reason? I was at my highschool reunion last month and an old friend kept telling me to smile...I did not know i wasnt...it kind of made me be aware of how my facial expressions might be mis-understood. And my posture...I noticed, when I relax my shoulders too much, i look like a fat hunchback..i am trying to be more aware of this and square my sho0ulders back a bit, besides it makes my boobs look good and my tummy less fat.

That seems like enough randomnessess for now.

End Of June

I have been thinking about what to write about for awhile now. What is relevent ? Then I realized they are my Random thoughts right?

I will start with the begining of June. Logan celebrated the end of kindergarten . He recieved the award " Kindness to the Core ". As a mother I was proud, and honestly, felt good , to have my son recieve this. I hope that he keeps this quality as he grows up. I hope that he learns the value of this quality. As he grows in to a teen and a young man I hope he continues to be kind.

On another note, My cousin passed away . He was a strong , big man, aged only forty. He left behind a beautiful wife, two young boys, ages 4 and 14 months. He died at his computer, accidental suffication, he fell asleep and his head fell forward cutting off his air. A simple accident that may or may not have been contributed by alcohol. The funeral, and graveside service were beyond sad. My emotions this day were bounced back and forth, between saddnes and being proud of my boy.

My friend Tarah came up with a fantabulous idea!! Walt has an old table that came from his grandparetns house and we have started to refinish it. We have sanded it and when it stops being rainy and humid I am going strip it and stain it. Walt has decided the color is going to be Pecan, the same we stained Justinas hope chest. When I finish it is going to be beautiful!!

We had our first camping trip last weekend. It rained but it was not bad at all. It was fabulous! We fished and went to the hot springs!! This weekend our friend Brandi and her family are joining us! We check out Tarah's campground on the way to ours and it is very pretty, i can see why they like it!!

random thoughts...........litterly!! Bye for now!

A Wrinkle In Time

So, the last couple of weeks or so I have been sick in one way or another. It started with an angry, itchy virus on my torso. Having had had cancer at a young age my immune system is somewhat diminished, and my lymphatic system is well..troubled, so when the doctor at the "Doc in the box" game me steroids, it cleared up the angry, red, itchy bumps but left my immune system , well as lack for a better word, dead. So I woke up about one a.m. one night, in pain. I am not talking stub your toe pain, I am talking swollen face, head , ear involved..pain. I had a sore throat over the weekend but now , well it was involved. So i went to the doctor..a doctor in the same practice as my Internal Medicine doc. They were shall we say, worried. I was with the doctors (plural ) for a good hour. Many blood tests and two hours later, they called me to say that i had a horrific bacterial infection.

Antibiotics and 5 days later, I am feeling better.

But now on to the real story at hand. On the way to my mothers house last night for her birthday celebration, I took a gander in the car mirror. BIG MISTAKE. I will be 38 this year. I am too young to have wrinkles. Way to young. But yet, I do. I am not depressed. I am just well... shocked? I am thinking about getting some olay wrinkle cream.

Bitchyness

So i am on my second day of the steroid dose pack. I have this rashy virus thing and fungus thing caused by it. So i am very itchy and because of the steroids, BITCHY! I feel like smiling, crying and yelling all at the same time. I apologized to my household and friends before I even started it. So, If i have not apologized to you..SORRY. If I cry or seem upset when i am with you, please know that it is not you. And another thing.....this is making me sooo hungry!!

THE ZOO!

So, on friday we took the kids to the zoo. It was great! The kids had a great time and were all very well behaved. Evan came and Logan instantly idolized him. He wanted to hold his hand the entire time. We saw the new African exhibit. It was great! Brandi loved the giraffes. One even came at us , we thought he was going to come through the glass. But no...he just wanted to look at us closer I guess. ( It is because we are so beautiful Brandi). My favorite were the Lions. The kids each had there favs too. Evan liked the Kamodo dragon, Abbie liked The ENTIRE TRIP! Logan could not decide between the Lion and the Zebras. Jonathon seemed to really like the giraffes and the penguins. We went to the zoo gift shop ( Evan had money burning a hole in his pocket) and Logan picked out a toy for him and Abbie( i think he likes her...TOO YOUNG!!)


All in all it was a good way to spend the day. It was the last day of spring break and we finally had a nice day. I wish our other friend Tarah had been able to come, but with other things going on we will make her come NEXT time!

Spring is here, it may not feel like it, but the animals know!

Thanks Brandi , it was awesome!!!

Leo The Lion

So. Appearantly I was born on the sign of the Leo, the Lion when all 3 planets were aligned. This is called a triple Leo. Yeah right. I am so not as magestic or as strong as this king of beasts. Some say I have the characteristics of a Leo. Hmm. I may at some point in my life been all about me. I may at some point have thought that I needed to be the center of attention. They say that Leos grow up to be performers. HA! I cant sing, I cant act, I can dance, although not outstanding. I think having a child and being in love with a person has diminished some of these character flaws. Don't get me wrong, I am proud to be associated with this Royalty. I have always thought the Lion to be a fantastic creature. If reincarnation does exist, I want to come back as a lion, a male lion. I love the mane. Sometimes, when I read my horoscope it is SOO me, other times, I laugh it is so absurd. So tell me, whats your sign baby? ANd what do you think about it?

Soccer Season

The spring soccer season is upon us. Logan is very excited for his second season. Today his grammie took Logan and I to lunch and then to buy new soccer kleats( he outgrew his ones from the fall). We tried several pairs and finally found some , size 12! I must face the fact he is growing up in more ways than one. I will post some pictures soon of practice and games. His first game is April 4th, I am hoping his friend Chandler will spend the night Friday and come watch him play!

The Boy

There is in all his glory! Logan loves to eat but you cant tell by his skinny little butt and waist. The boy has energy I wish I could bottle and sell at the gym. This picture was taken at a local milkshake joint. This place has mini milkshakes, you see them here. 32 oz!! His half brothers and sister were here for their spring break last week and he had a blast. He wasnt to sure about Bubba's Gf but he is a boy and connected with Sissy's Bf much better. They left on Saturday and he left on Monday. Without me. With my parents. To Seattle. I miss him. He does not miss me. How could this happen? He doesnt need me to tuck him in at night? No kisses or back rubs? I know when he comes home tonight he will want those. ( I HOPE) But for those three days without me he was fine. Much better than I was. He has spent the night at my parents house a ton of times. But. That is across town. He spent the night at a friends house for the first time about 2 weeks ago. ( God Bless you T for knowing how I felt) I have come to face the fact ( well, not really but I am trying) that he is growing up. Soon he wont need me to walk him to school. Soon he will be daddys boy not mommys. I know I have to deal with this. I just dont want to. I think I will be enjoying the interuptions from now on because I know they wont last. I think.

My baby. My baby boy , he really isnt a baby any more.

Friends

You know I have always had a few real good friends. Sometimes they are not always around but when I do see them we are right back where we were the last time. Like my best friend from highschool, Melissa. She lives here in town, but we rarley see eachother or talk. But every now and then we send a text like we have been talking forever. I like that. I like that I have friends like this.

I have some new friends too. I love them. They know who they are. Our kids are in the same class at school. I am fianlly able to be me sometimes. I love being a mom, dont get me wrong, and a wife but sometimes I need to be me. My friend ( I will call her T ) is amazing( well they both are) . She has opened her home and hot tub to her friends on Thursday nights for some munching, drinking, venting and skinny dipping. It has been a very good thing for my inner self and I look forward to it every week. T has 3 amazing children, one of them she adopted from Ethiopia and I think she might be the most gorgeous girl child ever!Her hubby is a counsler and is great with the kids. My other good friend( we will call her B) is eqally amazing. She runs a day care out of her home , her husband is working evenings and going to school to become a nurse. It is a huge change for her but she knows in the long run it is the best for her family. She has welcomed me to her home ( it might be because I bring her coffee) so we can chat and laugh at the kids.

I think friends are a womans way to be themselves and I so hope that my new freinds know how much I love them and respect them. I will always be there for them.