Radomnessesss

It has been a long time since i posted anything, I have been a bad blogger again.

This post is exactly as it says, Random. Venting, thinking, praising and whatever else comes up.

I have found that I am very content. In life, in love just everything, yes, sometimes life gives me lemons and I don't always make lemonade..But I also realize that life is never perfect and that I must accept the bumps as well as i accept the smooth road. My dad used to honk his horn whenever he went over a speed bump, they just plain piss him off. For some reason I think we need these speed bumps to remind us to slow down in our lives. Not to take it all to seriously, to stop and smell the roses, or daisys or basil..you know just slow down and chill , look at life differently for a few seconds. I am not saying that i have nothing negative going on. I just choose to think about it differently. Maybe this is because once in my life it was so very opposite. Death at one point was calling me over and over. Maybe I learned something back then, with those counselers...maybe I learned to love myself..and that it is true, once you love who you are, things are different. It took years. I can really say though, I love me. I love the life I have, with its smooth roads and speed bumps and gutters too.

Now..how much and how many times can I say I love my little boy. Yeah he is six, sometimes a complete brat, swears on the way to VBS, has this thing about calling people a dork( by the way did you know a dork is a dolphin penis?) but He is my miracle! I cant imagine a mother letting something happen to her child, participating in the murder of her child. It boggles my brain. It makes me angry. It makes me ask questions i don't want the answers to. I love you Logan. I will never let anything happen to you. EVER.

School is about to start. supplies have been bought, clothes and shoes ( with the help of grammie) and Logan is ready! He is more of a clothes horse than I EVER WAS, of course, back then we did not have a mall. Dang, I am OLD.

Do you ever find yourself smiling for no reason? How about frowning for no reason? I was at my highschool reunion last month and an old friend kept telling me to smile...I did not know i wasnt...it kind of made me be aware of how my facial expressions might be mis-understood. And my posture...I noticed, when I relax my shoulders too much, i look like a fat hunchback..i am trying to be more aware of this and square my sho0ulders back a bit, besides it makes my boobs look good and my tummy less fat.

That seems like enough randomnessess for now.